A pre-marriage agreement is the safest way to protect yourself from a future divorce. A pre-marriage agreement is a written contract between intended spouses. It specifies how their property and income shall be divided in divorce. Pre-marriage agreements (or pre-marital, pre-nuptial or ante-nuptial agreements) aren’t only for the wealthy. Every couple needs a pre-marriage agreement. It’s their most efficient, equitable way to settle matters in advance of a future divorce. Pre-marriage agreements resolve many issues less easily reconciled by the divorce courts. For example, one spouse may have substantial pre-marital assets and wants his children from a prior marriage to inherit that wealth. A pre-marriage agreement is then the ideal way – perhaps the only certain way – to secure this objective. The pre-marriage agreement similarly guarantees spousal alimony as well as property division upon separation, divorce or death. The agreement lets the parties marry, confident their respective post-marital needs will be fulfilled should the marriage end.

One barrier to the pre-marriage agreement is that intended spouses hesitate to raise the delicate subject of a prenuptial agreement. They fear it communicates distrust, or lack of commitment to the marriage; it is unromantic and too businesslike; it foredooms the marriage to divorce; or it is too expensive. Lovers are optimists. Few believe their marriage can fail. Others are unassertive, overly-trusting, or they poorly plan every aspect of their lives. Others don’t realize how effectively a pre-marriage agreement can protect them from a failed marriage.

It’s never too soon to let your prospective spouse know that you want a pre-marriage agreement. The earlier you make this known, the sooner you’ll plan your wedding and post-marital finances with less concern.

The greatest benefit of a pre-marriage agreement? It encourages both parties to consider what they really expect and want from their marriage, what the marital relationship will be, and what they expect to give and receive from their spouse. This involves more than finances. For example, an engaged couple may discover that she plans a large family while he wants no children, or the bride may want a lifelong career while the groom assumes his wife will raise their family and not work. The pre-marriage agreement compels you to think about, discuss, and resolve these personal issues. Although a pre-marriage agreement is sensitive, you can soften your request to your intended spouse. Voice concern for your children from a prior marriage. Or claim your lawyers insist upon the agreement. Or approach it by suggesting the pre-marital agreements as part of your estate planning. An estate plans before marrying, in this instance, includes a pre-marriage agreement.